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Life&Stuffs

10 Things Nepalese Youths Learned From Life Abroad

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“While communicating, people here always put other people in top. They don’t try to impose that he/she is the boss. It eases the conversation. Quite contrary to us. We always like to be dominant. We all like to be dai.” From Japan

 

“There is a proper system for everything, each and every process is transparent. Affable, helpful behavior in public service offices and overall great customer service. Few days ago, I saw a poster from Bhat bhateni supermarket, posted on Facebook which said “you can touch the plates but if it falls and breaks, you must buy it “. This doesn’t happen here.”  — Rishav Aryal, Canada

 

“ I am currently at New Delhi things that made me amazed was about manageable roads with greenery everywhere no any pollution neat and clean environment etc.” — Santosh Shah Thakuri

 
 
 
 

 

“Two things: People mind their own business, and are responsible enough about what they do. It’s not only about freedom, but also how you use that freedom. Government is efficient, but only because the people are helping.” — Swaraj Rimal, USA

“This is not to say that UAE is the safest place on earth, or that crimes don’t happen in here. But if you are familiar with cosmopolitans, you will notice the difference in UAE. Whether a male or a female, you will notice that you can walk almost anywhere in the city at three o’clock in the morning without fear of being attacked or hassled. You can leave your car running, apartment open, laptop bag on a chair in a coffee shop and you are sure that they will be untouched by the time you come back. This is in large due to the fact that UAE has a strict policy of deportation of criminals, as well as the fact that most residents are professionals who are benefiting from their presence in the city and they don’t want to jeopardize that fact.” — Aashim Ghimire, UAE

 

“Honest and dedicated to their work. In traffic jam their vehicles stays in que which means they follow the rule with patience. A society where boys don’t stare to girls even if girls looks too sexy. Women have given more priority by law and society. Rational and reasonable thinking in every aspect of life” –– Phurpa H Thongso, Israel

 

“encourages in every good things, guides

very well, doesn’t judge if you are a girl and have lots of guys as friends or you are a boy who only get along with girls, respects every individuals believing each person is different, strong consciousness of everyone’s rights, and most of the people of here are really touched with NEPAL AND NEPALESE PEOPLE AND their GENEROSITY.” — Dôlmà DôNg, France


“Not being judged by others for being a “KT Manche” like in Nepal. I have got freedom to wear that I like, I can do the job that I like without hesitation, I can come and go out of home whenever I want, I can drink, I can smoke, I can study, I can think about my career, I can dance, I can sing and so on so on…..and all without being judged. Mostly I love the opportunity that Australia has to offer. To be succeed u need to be rich but in Australia most of the time you need skill and experience. I hated to be born as a girl back in Nepal due to so called society. I love Nepal but I am proud to say that Australia is my second home country.” — Mohini Gurung, Australia

“Respect to every professions, great work ethics, discipline, hardworking and down to earth people. “ — Sadikshya Neupane, Norway

“Danish welfare system; subsidized by the state and Denmark has one of the highest taxation level in the world .Therefore, citizens have free access to education and hospital. – Trust and belief to the state – simple, clean design and architecture. – No matter whether you are boss or a general staff they love bike to go office and home. – law and order.” — Rajesh KC

 

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Knowledge & Infos

Report: Sexual Behavior trend among sexually-active urban Nepalese youth

We had conducted an online survey to learn about sexual behavior, trend and pattern, among Nepalese urban youths. It’s a report based on that.

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Image: Unsplash

In order to learn sexual behavior trend among urban Nepalese youth, we had asked Kmag followers to participate in a survey anomalously to answer the following questions:

  1.  Their age when they had their first sex
  2.  Gender.  Options given were:  Male, female, and others.
  3.  District where they had their first sex.
  4. We had asked if it was before marriage or after marriage.
  5.  If it was a casual sex or while in relationship.



There were 396 respondents participating in the survey, out of which  284 had identified themselves as male,  109 had identified themselves as female, and 3 had identified themselves as Other (LGBTQ).

 

Background of respondents

Kmag being an English magazine and most followers being from Kathmandu and other major cities within the age bracket of 18-35, respondents can be classified as Urban Nepalese youth with good English proficiency, making them relatively exposed to global trend and modern values.   Thus, this survey may or may not represent the whole Nepalese youth, but can be good hint to gauge the pattern and trend of sexual behavior among Nepalese youth in whole.

Purpose of the survey

Purpose of the survey was to learn the sexual behavior among urban Nepalese youth, basically in terms of:

  1.  At what age, they begin to be sexually active.
  2. Gender wise sexual behavior.
  3. Percentage of premarital sex.
  4.  Nature of sexual relationship.

Authenticity of the survey

The survey was conducted online through anonymous form.  There can be a chance of false information being provided.  However, the case should only be marginal.

Data Analysis (WHAT WE FOUND)

Going through the data collected, we have broken down the data to make analysis on following heading

Average age at the time of first sex (Lost Virginity)

Per the report, the age at which respondents claimed to lose their virginity ranged from 13 years old to 30 years old.

In an average, sexually-active urban Nepalese youths had lost their virginity at age 20.36, in which males had lost their virginity at age 20.15 in average, and females at age 20.79 in average.  45% of males and 40% of females were found to have lost their virginity at age between 17-20.   However, data also showed a pattern that quite lot of females lose their virginity in early and mid 20s (35%), whereas males tend to lose their virginity in their late teen.

There in the figure, you can see number of respondents who had lost their virginity at the respective ages.

Teenage sex

181 out of 396 respondents had their first sex in their teenage.  That means 45.7% respondents had their first sex in their teen age.

Breaking it down gender wise:

Male:  47.5% of male respondents had their first sex in their teen age.

Female:  42.2% of female respondents had their first sex in their teen age.



Premarital sex

368 out of 396 respondents had their first sex before marriage, making it 92.92%.

Only 14 females out of 109 had sex after marriage, making 87.16% females with premarital sex.

Likewise,

Only 14 males out of 284 had sex after marriage, making 95.07% males with premarital sex.

 

Nature of Sex

We had asked if their first sex was casual sex or with someone they were in relationship with.

64.89% had their first sex with someone they were in relationship with.

35.11% had their first sex with someone they were not in relationship and had it as casual sex.

To break it down, gender wise:

116 out of 284 males had their first sex as casual sex (40.84%)

21 out of 109 females had their first sex as casual sex (19.26%)

This pattern says casual sex being usual and normal among youth, especially in their early days of exploring sexual life.

To summarize

  1.  Most urban youths from Nepal seem to become sexually active from age 17.
  2.  Average age of losing virginity among these youth is 20.38 years old.
  3.  Within sexually-active demography, premarital sex holds 92%.
  4.  3 in 10 had their first sex in casual bonding and not with someone in relationship.

Recommendation

This online survey may not give the exact picture of sexual behavioral of Nepalese youths in general, but it pretty much can hint us on the sexual behavior pattern and trend among urban Nepalese youths.

40% and more sexually-active youths were active since their teenage.
Likewise, there are 92% sexually-active youths before marriage itself.

In the country like Nepal where sex is still a taboo and neither at home nor in everyday life people openly talk about it, it’s in a way scary that so many youths are sexually active in a sexually-conservative society with no support system in case of pregnancy outside marriage or STDs.   The lack of sex education, awareness, and support system are putting so much of youths in such a vulnerable position that if anything goes wrong, they are forced to deal with it secretly.

For betterment of all, we recommend strong support system for sexually-active youths to reach out for help when in need.  Also, we recommend active sex education and awareness to build a healthy society.

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Education

Sex is Sad

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If I ask you to name one thing that happens in every home but nobody talks about it, what would you say? Did you just say ‘sex’ in your head? You are right, but no prizes for guessing the right answer here. And if you happen to be “an innocent child” who does not like to talk/read about sex, this is where you should stop reading. Still here? I am not joking, this is not for you.

 

Let me ask you another question: Have you ever asked anyone in your family: ‘How was I born?’ Most of us have. If there was a competition to select a question with the potential to generate the most bizarre answers, this question would be unbeatable. I will share some, yes there was a variety of answers I got from ‘unreliable sources’ of my family. One, I was found on the premise of Janaki Mandir and was brought home. Seriously? Two, children are born by the exchange of body fluids (not what you think!) provided the couple is married. That body fluid was sweat. Did you really think they would “pollute my mind” by giving me the truth? No way! (If you have similar answers to share, share them in comments!) Can you imagine how cheated a child feels when he discovers the truth behind the process? Oh, the liars! The mystery was officially unlocked only after sitting through awkward lectures on the reproductive system in grade 9. I say awkward because: One, it was too late to teach us as we had been informed, and somewhat misinformed, from ‘other sources’. Two, the teacher almost gave a statutory warning saying not to ask “too much”. In short, it was boring. And when even sex is boring, in any way, you know it is not being done in the right way, don’t you? 

Maturity is realizing the difference between sex education and education on the reproductive system. Not very long ago I realised the difference and also that little or no sex education has been provided to me by the school or home. School teaches us the reproductive system, one of the reasons sex happens. Is it the only reason? You know the answer. The other reason is almost untouched by the present curriculum. It covers a few topics like contraception and STDs but nothing about different sexual orientations, behaviors, sexual rights and, more importantly, sexual wrongs. In fact topics like homosexuality are so unfindable in the curriculum that I saw a friend of mine put up the ‘rainbow filter’ on his Facebook profile picture thinking it was to “celebrate monsoon.” And the same people end up using homosexuality to even abuse (using words like gay, ‘chhakka’) others. Sadly, a ‘chhakka’ exists as the most valuable shot in Cricket but as a most derogatory word when it is used to denote your sexual orientation. Being different than the rest doesn’t imply being unnatural. It simply means they have a different nature. If we go by that belief then all the left-handers are unnatural, the whole of more than 700 million of them!

Marriage is the only kind of sexual right in our society. To put it in another way, ‘right sex’ only happens between heterosexual married couples, including marital rape. This norm has been independent of time and an established moral code of society since the time people were married off at the age of 10-12 years. Interestingly, we have fought off, and almost abolished, child marriage but kept our silence on ‘marriage as the only sexual right’ thing. The marriage age has risen from teenage to late twenties to early thirties. But we continue to live by the same old principles. This generally creates two kinds of people. One, the sexually frustrated one, those who abstain from having sex due to the fear of society. And two, the guilty section of people who feel they have broken a sacred law of society by addressing their natural urge, irrespective of the ‘protection measures’ they take. But still, according to ‘the great time-expired sex norms’ of our proud society, all practices other than ones happening in a marriage are sexual wrongs, even masturbation! 

We are proud of our culture. Not talking about sex is culture too. But what I find ironic is that a huge number of such traditions are practiced which have sex or sexuality at their core. Let me give you some examples: A famous example would be “Goddess Kumari” in Kathmandu. Only girls who haven’t menstruated can be Kumari. Another one is preventing Hindu widows from wearing colourful clothes and consuming foods categorized as Tamasik food (like meat, fish, onion, garlic etc) because they, according to Hindu holy texts, may induce sexual urges in that person which would be “immoral”. Another funny one from Mithila culture is you cannot “touch” the wife of your younger brother. If it had specified a special category of touching, that is sexual touching, it would be understandable. But here, the “touch” is generalized. We touch the feet of elders to get blessings and show respect. Is that not “touching”? We hug our friends, brothers, sisters. Is that not “touching”? But, yeah, we are sexually fucked up. Sex is so disregarded in human life out of one’s bedroom, hidden folders and incognito mode in browsers! So much that I am sometimes in total awe because I see people acting as if they are unaware of its entire existence. 

Sex is the reason we are born. Magically, sex is not involved in the birth of our “God(s)”. Again, a few funny examples: Rama was born because Kaushalya, his mother, ate rice pudding brought by a saint who emerged out of a Yagya organized by Dashrath! Hanuman was born because “Pawan Dev (God of air)” impregnated Anjani through the air! Remember the sweat theory that was proposed to me? Seems as if it is true because it was Hanuman’s sweat that was the reason for his son’s birth who was named Magardhwaj. And, Jesus was born to a “virgin” lady, Mary! And, I am sure you can find many more such stories. They must be stories, right? You don’t believe anyone can be borne by Sun, air, water, sweat and, of all other things, virginity! I am sure you don’t.  All of this goes to show the role religions have played to humiliate human beings for involving in a natural phenomenon. And, this “great” culture has continued through time.

Sex will find its way to children. If you don’t help in making its way, porn will. And when porn teaches sex education, it teaches violence, perversions, and sex fiction for free and strengthens patriarchy, which alone constitutes for at least ninety percent of the world’s problems already. And if you let porn teach sex education to kids, there will be adults in the world who will know that Superman is science fiction but not that most of the porn is sex fiction and a very inhumane one at that.

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Arts & Literature

Photo comments: My Tattoo

We had asked Kmag page followers to photo comment a picture of their tattoo and we received the following

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We had asked Kmag page followers to flaunt their tattoos through photos in a “Photo Comment” post, and the we received many photos out of which these are our best pick.

Madhusudan Sharma

Bikram Thapa

Prakash Shrestha

(more…)

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