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Food For Thought

K Bujyo: All you need to understand

In this highly opinionated world, everyone has been so desperate to prove themselves right that the culture of understanding regardless of disagreements has been quite rare.  “K Bujyo” is a section designed to revive the culture.

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For sometimes now, you must have noticed a new section on Kmag Page, where a quote is shared or a para-long opinionated or philosophical statement that ends with “K Bujyo?”

Some followers are finding the style amusing, some find it annoying, and some simply get triggered to even unfollow the page itself.  So what is it all about? The purpose, concept, idea behind?

Let’s go back to the dawn of Kmag.  The following image was Kmag’s cover pic for a long time.

The whole idea behind the page was to become a voice of progressive minds – not just that of Kmag Admin or Kmag team – but of everyone with progressive attitude and nature.

Per the conceiving idea, we built the brand, shaped the behavior of followers, who would be vocal, feel free to share their thoughts and ideas, argue and debate, and as was wished, the page turned into an interactive page.  Since, so many thoughts and perspectives, lessons and stories, ideas and beliefs have been expressed in comment section.

And we felt, something needs to be done, so that those expressed voices just don’t decay there.  For that, we have been trying out couple of things and ways to preserve them and spread them, taking them beyond comment section.

Part of which is this

We have turned those comments into cute little cards and keyrings (and we also plan to print them on t’s and mugs and even posters and souvenirs) and giving it back to the commenters.

We have been constantly working on these things for quite sometime now.

So, K bujyo

isn’t “admin’s views or thoughts or beliefs” ….”trying to push down to audience in condescending manner.”  Rather, it’s words of someone in a comment section of some post, which would touch us, or move us or simply grab our attention that we might find it worthwhile to take back to audience to make them think over.  NOT NECESSARILY TO AGREE WITH THE STATEMENT BUT TO UNDERSTAND, ANYWAY.

In this highly opinionated world, everyone has been so desperate to prove themselves right that the culture of understanding regardless of disagreements has been quite rare.  “K Bujyo” is an attempt of reviving the culture.

Food For Thought

People don’t forget the way you made them feel

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We often think “once everything becomes alright, all the bad things and relationships will be fixed as well.” Some of us have a habit of not picking up calls when in middle of something even if is being called many times thinking “will call later and make things alright” or “anyway am meeting the caller in the evening, I will talk then

Or, we avoid talks or contacts with some people that we are supposed to pay back or deliver a commitment thinking “will talk once am able to pay back or deliver the commitment.

Later, we often manage to pay or deliver or meet them, but things don’t remain same from there. We turn out to be a bad person though we are good deep inside, though we didn’t cheat or betray, in the end.  Still people ignore us, friends and relatives set a distance from us; they don’t trust us and we wonder “what did I do??”

WHAT DID WE DO? we made people go through unpleasant emotions. And those people don’t want to go through that emotions again. So, instead of calling hundred times and going through “WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU?” with that angry unpleasant feeling, they learn to not call you and avoid the unpleasant emotion. Instead of giving you money, and go through “WILL HE EVEN RETURN THE MONEY?” the anxious feeling, they learn to not give you money in first place and avoid the unpleasant emotion.

Same goes in romantic relationship. That’s how once-a-great relationship dies off without a clue. Deep inside, it’s because of the same reason stated above.

Many good people by heart has messed up in interpersonal relationship (ghar-samaj bevahar) simply because of this one little thing that they could not consider and understand.

Humans are very easy animal if you rightly understand their pleasure-seeking nature and tendency to avoid/reject unpleasant emotions and activities.  If you don’t want others to keep a distance from your life, don’t feed them or push them to unpleasant emotions and activities.

People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.

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Food For Thought

Be Yourself: What does it mean

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Do I need to change?

When should I change?

Or, why should I even change? Why can’t I be myself? Or, can I be?

Everyone of you must have gone through these sort of wonders, here and there, especially when others stress you to change.  And then, you have heard many times the line “BE YOURSELF,” and that sounds so right but others can’t take your true self and expect you to change, and you get confused now, who is right.

That confusion is because you probably have not understood that two-word philosophy itself.  To begin with, put yourself into this:

Mr. John is a complete asshole.  He is rude, he does not care about others feeling.  He actually enjoys seeing people suffer.  He can’t stick to one relationship for long.  He smokes, he drinks.  All in all, he is a man that barely anyone likes to befriend or date.

Now, ask yourself, should Mr. John remain as he is or change?

If your answer is he should change, then you are wrong.  You are no different than people who expects you to change.  “John is a complete asshole, he is rude, bla bla bla,” that’s per whose definition? Based on whose standard? He is not committing any crime, cops is not behind him, he is not harming anyone.  He is just living his life as it pleases him, WHY SHOULD HE CHANGE? Because no one could fit in his life either as a friend or a date?

Hope you got the point.  So, let’s jump into BE YOURSELF

Be yourself is a philosophy rooted to individualism.  Individualism is the moral stance, political philosophy, ideology, or social outlook that emphasizes the moral worth of the individual.  Individualists promote the exercise of one’s goals and desires and so value independence and self-reliance and advocate that interests of the individual should achieve precedence over the state or a social group, while opposing external interference upon one’s own interests by society or institutions such as the government.

The whole idea behind the BE YOURSELF is that you owe your own shit.  Good or bad, you live the consequences.  Humans by nature change per the situation and circumstances or desires and wants.  When it truly happens so, you will change anyway.  If you don’t, nature will take care of you anyway.  But until then being yourself is the key, because when you remain as you are, first you signal out your true self to others, making others life easy to decide about you.  Secondly, you live the process and that’s the most comforting, most joyful and most peaceful state.

You don’t need to change a thing in you unless you truly desire so.  If you are fat, be yourself.  If you are introvert, be yourself.  If you are jerk, be yourself.  If you are a geek, be yourself.  Don’t try to change to fit in or accepted.

Yes, you may lose people from your life who does not like your true self.  But hey, someone of your type will join you anyway.  Be yourself.

What if those people are my family, my relatives, my loved ones.

Well, that’s a tough choice you need to make.  Either be yourself and let them decide what to do with you.  Or, you fit into their expectation and standard and live and act per them.  Which option will you choose?

In short, BE YOURSELF, is a philosophy that tells you to accept yourself the way you are and act and present yourself accordingly and not try to be someone you are not.

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Food For Thought

Being unusual does not mean “Pagal”

Nepal per my understanding is a very defined society.  Life path is pretty defined.  Once you are born, go to school, then go to college, finish it by 25; get a job or find an earning, get married, get kids, raise them up, get old, die.

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Somebody on Kmag page had once asked me “how come Rupchandra Bista, despite being such a genuine person, was little known all this time?”

I vaguely remember when I was a kid someone calling Rupchandra Bista, a “pagal.”

We all know that Laxmi Prasad Devkota too was labeled as “pagal.”

There are many such people in history being labelled as lunatic or “pagal.”

I never understood until recently why they are being labelled so.  That’s because because they were unusually different from rests.

Nepal per my understanding is a very defined society.  Life path is pretty defined.  Once you are born, go to school, then go to college, finish it by 25; get a job or find an earning, get married, get kids, raise them up, get old, die.

How a son should be is defined. How a buhari should be is defined. How one should act in 30s is defined. Actually every nitty kitty thing is defined and everyone is expected to act per the definition.

What happens if someone lives outside the definition? What happens when a son does not live or act per the definition? What happens when a buhari doesn’t act or live per the definition?

In that case, the person is considered as lost the track, “something not right.”  Must have lost mind.  “Pagal.”

Grow a dreadlock and you will know what it is to be different here.
Get a tattoo or pierce unusually and you will know what it is to be different here.
Choose not to marry or not have a kid and you will know what it is to be different here.
Choose to not walk the road and you will know what it is to be different here.

Why is it so hard to be different here?? So where this one-must-be-like-this idea came from? Why people can’t be just chill and not bother about anyone’s choice of living?  Because we are very defined.

A friend of mine had gone to US and she was quite amazed that somebody walked into Walmart with Superman costume comfortably.  She told me, “people there are pretty comfortable to live the way they want and no one minds.”  Imagine, you walk around with superhero costume here.

So how could one part of world has learned to be least bothered and another part of world is super obsessed about how everyone should act and behave??

Answer to all those questions is — we still haven’t learned to respect the differences; haven’t learned to accept and embrace those who have chosen to be different.

There are millions ways of living, there are millions of styles to follow, there are millions of ways to act and behave and still be normal.  Sadly, we don’t have millions of options given.  You gotta just follow the rests or prepare to be labelled.

That’s how Rupchandra Bista became pagal, psycho; so Laxmi Prasad Devkota, and many others.  I guess that’s why innovation is rare here, creativity is rear, diversity is rare.  Everything is quite uniform like a sheep farm.

We all are humans but we aren’t same. Let’s embrace and respect each other’s differences.

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