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Life&Stuffs

Why Question Everything

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The other day, we posted a question, “What is wrong in complimenting a woman for having nice breast or hip?” Responses were amazing. Thank you all.

But there were some, who didn’t like the question. They deemed such kind of things should not be put for discussion.

The other day, we posted a question, “What is wrong in complimenting a woman for having nice breast or hip?” Responses were amazing. Thank you all.

But there were some, who didn’t like the question. They deemed such kind of things should not be put for discussion.

My page handling experience and active social media observation tell me this that there are kind of mindsets who don’t like anything being questioned if is quite attached to their sentiments or belief system . Be it Kumari, be it religion, be it ritual, be it culture or be it social norms.

I used to wonder why. Then I recalled my childhood to till this moment. I remember my grand parents, my parents, my seniors, my teachers not liking being questioned their command or ideas. And I remember all the “pujas,” where a “baje” comes with a holy book, instructs to follow words by words, and rests follow quietly without questioning. Following without questioning is our culture. I realised.

I learned about our feudal society — all the kings, Kajis and mukhiyas, and how you are not supposed to question their decisions, question their ideas, question their commands.

We basically come from a society where questioning popular belief, questioning norms, questioning anything that could hurt majority’s belief or hurt ego of those in power is WRONG, is UNACCEPTED. We are supposed to follow without reasoning.

I questioned further. WHY?? Why people here in power, people in privilege status don’t like being questioned? Why they don’t like their society, their norms, their beliefs being questioned. Digging down further, I realised if you give a chance for people to question, there forms a discourse and the discourse can challenge the status quo, if the alternate ideas or thought have better logical argument. Religion, ritual, those in power, traditionalist, they don’t like to be challenged. They don’t like to be replaced. So, they discourage the practice of questioning, so that they can feel safe.

The practice has been going on for many hundreds of years. That what is reflected in our grandparents, our parents, our teachers, our priests, our politicians, our bureaucrats’ attitude. And sadly, in some of us. This must change. Questioning does not bring chaos. It brings better reasoning, better logical views, that will lead to better concepts, better ideas, better answers. No matter how stupid a question sounds, it always opens a door to answers. Answers create disagreements. Disagreements create debates and discussion. End of the discourse, the most conviencing one wins.

How beautiful the process of finding an answer it is, isn’t it?

So, don’t fear anyone questioning anything, unless you are the scared one who knows will lose the debate and will lose the comfort and privilege and thus wish to suppress the voice.

Question everything!!

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Career

What are your suggestions for a jobless, educated youth in Nepal?

We have asked our page followers “What are your suggestions for a jobless, educated youth in Nepal??” and here is the best selected answers from the comment thread.

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By Avsec Neupane

 If you are seriously looking forward to do something,just move yourself from your comfort zone, find anything else to make you survive in the new place. You will figure out something for sure,at least learn a best life lesson on what you are worth of.If you are waiting for foreign visa: sooner later you will find yourself in the situation doing any work to make your living,pay fees,bills and interests back home-why wont you start now? If you stay and wait for some miracle to happen,its never gonna happen!

 

By Dikshya Pokharel

Form some groups .. that will help you to cope with the situation where you are not alone who is looking for job… Share your ideas and listen others .Unite if your ideas match or together you can do something .. Start with some innovative small work together with like minded people .

 

 

By Bizz Lamichhane

Volunteer in Nonprofit org, make networks and you’ll land in good job. I did the same.

 

 

 

By Razev

Start with an internship, attend workshops and training to boost your skills then seek for a job, work hard, study the environment, finance, work, market, build strong network and finally start something of your own!

 

 

By Maulik Shakya

See we cannot address jobless educated youth in one level, there are different levels on which the educated youth is not being able to find the work suited for himself, may be he doesn’t have a vision on why to work, or maybe he doesn’t know himself as a work-driven person or maybe he doesn’t sees his values being met with the work culture of Nepal, or maybe he is not sure of his capabilities and how he can put it in meaningful work, or maybe the environment where is not suitable for his kind of work, nevertheless, if we want to empower a jobless educated youth, we need to know where he has the problem making him misfit for the work, and guide & empower him from there.

 

By Real Asmit

Give priority to knowledge rather than education degree. Gain knowledge and build your own platform.

 

 

 

By Nepal Saliza Shrestha

 Educated…. Its fine but they should never think that they would get high paid job in a try, they should also gather experience and be open minded towards experience. Whether high or average payment, get the job and gather experience for your targeted designations. That’s what I did. 
The very important thing is you should never carry your ego.

 

 

By कार्की कल्याण

How it is possible educated remains jobless ?? If that is case means person might be lazy ,don’t want to work ,chosen wrong faculty or someone being straw in their needs ,
Well educated person create the job,Acquire some signature strength and attract the job .life is not finding the job it’s all about developing the skills and knowledge that will attract the job !

 

 

By Sulav Bajracharya

People may talk about attending training classes, internships, grooming, etc. Or starting your own business, entrepreneurship or something else.
You know what ?
I won’t call a person educated if he/she doesn’t even know how search for a freaking job.
What is point of the degree they have achieved?
You may blame our education system for that.
I say you don’t require a university degree to get a job.
There are 100s and 1000s of vacancy announced daily via newspapers, Facebook, pamphlets distribution

 

By Sasuke Gurung

Go for what you are passionate about and chase your dream. Don’t look for carrier that pays well but look for something that you have a heart for. We do complain a lot about yo “bhayana tyo bhayana” ,but instead of that, try to be the change.

 

 

 


The above answers on the question were collected from our Facebook page, Kaagmandu Magazine. For more answers you can visit the post HERE.  Also, you can add your comments there.  Best comments get published here.

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Career

What are the things that secretly destroys people’s career?

We have asked our page followers “What are the things that secretly destroys people’s career?” and here is the best selected answers from the comment thread.

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By Arpan Upreti

The concept of career is not old… Remember it!!
It is new and may be devastating for the human life and freedom in long term where so called modern societies are cultivating certified laborers in the name of career!!

 

 

By Sushmita Dahal

1. Not being able to forecast
2. Ill decision making or no decision making quality
3. I know it all attitude
4. Not seeking help
5. Not upgrading with training and in-service education
And lots on list.

 

By Rachana Thapa

Chalta hai attitude. Being too emotional and not being aware of changing trend and upgrading oneself!

 

 

 

By Satish Shrestha

Perception…
Some believe on getting good job and settle that a career 
and some believe being a boss of your own company with a luxury life that a career ..
actually its all about perception and the way you look how you gonna live your life in future ??
and their they missed between reality and imagination.

 

 

By Ayush Panta

Not being curious. Curiosity is the reason behind success. Every decision, every aspect of your life is determined by how much curiosity you hold.

 

 

 

By Arbitrary Constant

Finance oriented choice in career path instead of interest oriented. 
We choose the career that’s supposed to give us lots of money for our “future” life. When we simply not interested in the subject we’ll just mess everything up.

 

 

 

By Pranish Khadgi

-Saying I’ll do it after I finish … (something like graduation, college)
– Not taking action because of fear of failure.
– Not grabbing opportunity saying it’s small.
– Going for some instant money over interest. At first it seems like you’re making money, but for long term it’s not effective.
You’ll regret your decision.

 

By Saugat Chapagain

Distraction or Lack of motivation.
And the cause of those can be anything ranging from mental stress to interpersonal relationship, pay grade, break ups, hook ups, and so on. 
So this question is a wide ass broad ended question. We can write an entire self help book on this topic.

 

 

 

By Kabir Kafka

What are is the bad question, 
You should ask What is because there is only one thing that destroys everything is, 
FEAR.
So please add ‘E’ in your “DAR” and make it “DARE”.

 

 

By Manisha Malakar

Unprofessionalism, less passionate about the work, feeling of monotony & lack of appreciation. It drowns an employee with no motive of carrying on further.

 

 

 


The above answers on the question were collected from our Facebook page, Kaagmandu Magazine. For more answers you can visit the post HERE.  Also, you can add your comments there.  Best comments get published here.

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Life&Stuffs

Dating Vs Relationship

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It’s kind of sad that many people from this part of world don’t really understand the concept of relationship, dating, marriage and the differences.  Here, one likes a person, and then the very next thing starts is dreaming about marriage.  One starts dating, and the very next thing starts is, calling the person BF/GF.

That’s probably because parents and media here hesitate to guide youths in this aspect. Attraction is not relationship, dating is not relationship, relationship is not a ticket to marriage. Before a marriage, there is a process that modern world know well to follow, which is yet to be learned and understood properly.  So, here is our attempt to guide you all young boys and girls on what all those terms mean, in a simplest way possible.

Phase I:  Attracted 

A guy meets a girl, girl meets a guy. They find each other pretty attractive (or sometime, only one way). That’s it.  Love at first sight is bullcrap. There is nothing as such. It’s just an attraction. This is when the subject tells “I like that guy” or “I like that girl.”  

Now, as you are interested, an urge builds up to know the person in depth; know the person’s taste and hobbies, and passions and everything that matter.  But then, sometime you stop the urge then and there and never moves ahead and sometime you move ahead.   That’s the state of attraction.  Liking someone instantly or liking someone after regular contact has nothing to do with love.  It’s just an ATTRACTION.  As you must have heard in movie saying something, “I find you attractive.”  

Now let’s say, both parties like each other and want to proceed further.  This is when the dating phase starts.  “Hey, can I take you out?”  or “hey, can we date?”  That’s how it begins — the dating phase.

Phase II:  Dating

Here, you are in the dating phase.  It’s not yet love. It’s not even boyfriend/girlfriend thing. It is just a freaking dating, like job interview. You want to give a try, you want to know the person much beyond physical attractiveness. That’s it. Couple of dates you go for. You learn the taste and hobbies and things about the person. There is the first rule of dating: DO NOT FALL FOR YOUR DATE TOO QUICK. One should be careful enough to wisely learn about the person and see the compatibility. Great compatibility? Awesome! now, you take it to next stage that will be known as “bf/gf.”

If you find no such compatibility, you simply say “Well, nice meeting you good-looking, you are really not of my kind.  Sorry.

So understand this.  When some says, “I am dating that person.” It does not really mean, they are in relationship. It just means, the person is interested up on the other side and trying to see if is the right person to get into relationship or not. However, many in Nepal, we see people taking date too seriously. Well, that’s kind of “immaturity,” we must say.  Also, we can see many being labeled as “playboy” or “playgirl” just because they keep dating. Dating does not mean playing. It just means searching for the best compatible partner.  After all one life, you don’t know want to end up with someone not right for you.

Anyway, this is what dating is all about. It’s about knowing the person before getting into relationship. Couple of meetings, couple of dating, couple of films and restaurants and enough to figure out whether worth trying for relationship or not.

Let’s say, couple find each other a perfect date.  Now comes the next phase and that’s called RELATIONSHIP.

Phase III:  Relationship 

Congratulation. You are now officially eligible to change your FB status to “In relationship.” This is the stage, where there is supposed to be all the love and fun and that crazy ride of youthfulness. You fall in love, you are in love, you rise in love. All those rollercoaster moments. This is the time when you learn about weakness and strength of the person, you learn about the prospects of the person. You tell the world that you got a girlfriend or boyfriend. That  I-found-my-other-half moment is now what you are into.  


If dating is the job interview, this is the job training phase. Lots of things are happening does not mean you should take the job nor it means you gonna be granted the job. This is the crucial stage to decide whether the person is good enough to be father or mother of the future kid. A phase to see, if is good enough to be married and create a family or not. This period goes for pretty long time. You travel, you experiment life, you experiment youthfulness. Finally you kind of get over with the oxytocin high. Then comes ups and down, and all kinds of shitty things. Is everything going well? Is your bf/gf relationship still surviving and ready to move forward together? Does the person look perfect enough to be committed legally with? If “Yes!” Cool. Congratulation. Go get married. If “No, I don’t think will be a great spouse.” Ditch then.  Don’t marry. 

Is that clear enough? Wait, we will give you a best example. Have you ever wondered why in movie, when a boyfriend proposes his girlfriend for marriage, she be like “WOW.” She cries and hugs and be so thankful and all.  It’s funny to some people from this part of world thinking “they live together, they have sex, they go around, and still why “marry me” proposal is taken as overwhelming moment?”  You know why?? Because relationship does not grant you marriage unless you pass the relationship test. When you are proposed, that means you passed the relationship. You are considered to be perfect one to marry and live for rest of the life.  So, until you are not proposed, you are just in relationship level.  It’s his/her right to decide when the time comes and readiness.

In this part of world, we tend to take boyfriend or girlfriend for grant, as if one is forced to marry his/her romantic partner just because been in relationship. That’s just BULLCRAP! Great boyfriend does not necessarily mean can be a great husband and same with girlfriend. Marriage means legally committing to someone to create a family, bring children in the world, raise them together, and die gracefully. You can’t just marry someone just because you found the person cool in some point in life. Marriage comes with social and financial responsibility, and many other things needed to create a family and raise children and grow old with.


Anyway, that is that. Relationship is the “Agniparikshya” moment. Now let’s say, both turn to be great couple, confident enough that  they can be a great husband/wife, there comes the proposal and happens the marriage.  

Phase IV:  Marriage 

This is the phase when you let your relationship to be legally recognised to create a family and devote life for each other for shared goals.

Look, how simple the concept of romantic relationship is. Problems come when you jump the stages without clearing each level or comprising and taking your relationship and emotions to next level.

In bullet points, 

  • You don’t need to date someone, just because you find the person attractive. You are not necessarily a “date worthy” just because you are attractive.
  • Just because someone asks you for date, does not mean the person is your bf/gf. Just because you are dating someone, does not mean you are committed to the person. You are just dating.
  • Feel free to discontinue dating, if the person is not of your type, no matter how attractive you found the person. Don’t be desperate to hook with someone even if not compatible. You gonna cry for this stupid decision later in your life.
  • If your date impresses you and is the perfect pick, go begin the relationship. But remember, he/she is not your wife or husband yet.  Also, remember relationship does not grant you marriage. You gotta earn it. You gotta work to prove that you are the right one to get married to.
  • If the person does not seem to be the best one to be the father or mother of your children or best to be your spouse, feel free to break up. DO NOT LET YOUR EMOTION FOOL YOU. DO NOT LET HIS/HER EMOTION FOOL YOU. You have all the rights to decide whom to marry and whom not. No one calls you a bad person for ditching someone that’s not fit to be your spouse. if all well and good, go marry. Be a wonderful parent, wonderful spouse, live your life happily, age gracefully.

Make things simple. Life is beautiful and easy if you know to live per the rule.  Life becomes complicated, relationship becomes complicated when you don’t know the fundamental aspects of romance and relationship and marriage and stuffs.

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