From the Facebook wall of Mr. Ravi Kumar, an apparent victim of cops mistreatment and abuse of power. Mr. Kumar is founder of Code For Nepal. He and his wife Mitchell cofounded Code for Nepal, an organization aiming to increase digital literacy and use of big data in the country. To that end, they have launched nepalmap.org last year to make data on the country more accessible. Kumar has helped rebuild more than 25 schools in the remote villages of Nepal.
Last night a cop hit my arm and threatened to arrest me for taking a video in a public place in Nepal.
I was waiting for my ride in Kathmandu when I heard a traffic cop and a young man shouting at each other. A few pedestrians were watching. There were other cops too.
The young man was telling the cop to not mistreat him and follow the legal procedure. The cop started to threaten him verbally. I pulled my phone and started to take a video.
I had taken a video for a few seconds when another cop, Mr. Tamang, hit me. In his view, I was violating the law. He asked me to delete the video. I told him Nepalis laws allow people to record in public spaces. He threatened to arrest me.
I asked him if he had an arrest warrant. He said he didn’t need one. My ride came and I asked the cop if I could go. The cop said, “No” because he was going to arrest me and teach me a lesson. Another gentleman started to defend me, saying that I was within my rights to take videos in a public space. The cop then threatened to arrest that gentleman too.
I called a couple of friends to inform them about my situation. After that, I asked the cop about the legal basis for him to force us to stay on the sidewalk. He asked one of his team members to bring police warrant.
I just waited. The gentleman continued to talk to the cop, who was now arguing that I was a threat to a VIP motorcade. Since the gentleman was advocating on my behalf, he would be arrested too.
Two copies of the arrest warrant arrived and the cop asked for the name of the gentleman. I interrupted, saying we don’t need to share our personal info with the cop, as he was engaging in an illegal practice. I also thanked the cop for doing his job, but told him what he was doing was not right.
I politely asked again if he would let us go. He finally said yes.
Today I went to the police station where Mr. Tamang works. When I told a cop I wanted to file a complaint he started to lecture me on why I should not. Then he asked my name and dialed a number. After that another cop came and was very nice to me. He was an inspector who listened to me carefully. He then told me that last night I was violating a cyber crime law, apparently. The inspector invited his colleague, a cyber crime expert. We learned that the so called cyber crime law has been proposed but not passed yet. So we agreed I wasn’t violating anything.
Finally I was told that given Mr. Tamang is an inspector and the nice cop who was supposedly going to document my complaint is of the same rank, I will have to wait for Deputy Head of the Police Station to file my complaint. I told them I can’t wait because of another commitment. I thanked the cop for his time and left. Later I learned that a contact of mine had called someone higher up in the security circle and that might be one reason why I was treated nicely at the Police Station.
Overall I’m shocked by the lack of respect for the rule of law and civility Mr. Tamang had. As I kept speaking in English, he probably thought I was a foreigner. Because of my privilege, I knew I would be fine. But I worry about what happens to regular folks who are harassed like this. My hope is cops are trained and supported well, and they ought to know they are there to protect people and hold us accountable—not to misuse their power.
Have you had to face similar incident or situation, where you felt misuse of power by Nepal Police? Comment below.
Stories and Accomplishments of 2019
These comments are collected from our Facebook Page, Kaagmandu Magazine
On 31st December 2019, we asked our K-mag followers about their achievements and stories that shaped their 2019. Here’s what they have to say.
Roz Khadka: “Sent some creepy people to police station. Not kidding ! “
Suzu Acharya: “I did scuba diving despite of having Aquaphobia.“
Pratima Bista: “Got engaged to love of my life. Happily engaged.“
Sharmila Pun: “2019 was a hella experience for me done and dusted with Rara Lake, Shey Pkhoksundo, Gosaikunda, ABC and at the end of the year lived a couple of days with Chepang Community in Makwanpur. Some done solo, some with my friends/family.“
Shraddha S Adhikari: “Did paragliding, zip flying, visited almost 20 districts of Nepal and succeeded living on my own terms and conditions.“
Amit Gautam:“Added prefix CA to my name.“
Sunil Dhital: “Got a puppy. Simba ya’ll.”
Affy Affy: “Read 60 books ! For 2020, its 100.”
Sagun Pant: “Got married!! To a very great person, beyond my imagination. I had honestly never thought that married life can be this supportive for a female. And eventually fell in love with him. Yes, it was arranged one.“
Bipul Bhattarai: “Dream Accomplished. Successfully worked as a Cricket Commentator.“
Rohan Shrestha: “2019 treated me well with my baby girl.. a proud dad. Well it’s a great feeling to photograph own child.“
Casperskynn Youknowho: “Survived, escaped life threatening diseases and accidents, learned self control and avoided murdering other annoying people. So, i guess not a bad year after going through all the shithouse life had to offer.”
Grishma Ghale: “Graduated, Went Rafting Twice, Almost Died from Cliff Jumping … kinda fun year.”
Scott MacLennan: “Got www.radiomankhu.com on the air and on the internet too.“
Saroj Khadka:“Got Married to my love Sadikshya Karki.“
Asmita Sharma:“Completed first trek in Nepal at Poonhill with beautiful people.”
Rajes Khadka :“Quit my job..Did Dubai Skydiving..Bike ride to Rara Lake..ABC Trek solo and Quality time with Mom.”
Madridista Dhruba:“Had my first solo trek… Which I was wishing for so long.“
Sabin Dawadi: “Rediscovered myself, still in process of rejuvenation though, after 4 years long lackluster period.“
Sharma Rishab: “Did magic mushrooms.“
Prakash Budha: “ Managed to grow apple in my own garden.”
Muskan Pudasainee: “Did a Rolwaling Valley trek“
Nishant Timalsina: “Went to Rara.”
Shreejana Bhattarai: “Did canyoning… hoping to cut off more from the list coming year… for sure 2020 gonna be the wonderful year for me… oh yes, i forgot to mention i donated my hair to cancer patients as well.”
Suman Pandit: “Break up with favorite person who always motivate me, change my life because i am not good for her.”
Niru Shrestha:“Bangkok tour with my 14 year old daughter… that was her first trip in her life.”
“Made it to Everest base camp” –Sanjita Chuchudj Shrestha
“Got a Manager position at age of 22” –Bijay Brown
“Had my first Baby.” –Kiran Bhandari
“We initiated Trek & Treat Campaign starting with RARA-Khaptad trekking route where we carried out eye health camps to remote village of Khatyad, Mugu. Motivated with our first campaign we are now going for our second Trek & Treat Campaign at Jumla on April 2020.”
Aww! I almost felt like crying. Thank you all beautiful souls for making this year memorable for us as well through those words and pics. Wishing you an amazing year ahead.
What did you learn from previous relationships?
As humans, we are naturally built to crave connection. We want to love and be loved. No wonder, relationships occupy a major part in our lives. But “Happily Ever Afters” do take a lot of time, dedication and effort. Not every one of us are blessed enough to marry our first love. We go through lessons after lessons until we find the right one. But most of them are painful. Can’t we skip them?
Below are the few similar lessons from Quora that people shared from their own personal experiences. I hope these lessons save you from years of heartaches.
You learn self-love.
It is a well known fact that you can only pour out what you have. If you lack love yourself, how are you supposed to give it to another person? Self love is a basic foundation in any relationship. When you respect and value yourself, you can give the same to your partner. Lack of self love leads to low self esteem, which will slowly eat away your relationship.
Andrew Ferebee wrote,
“In several relationships, I would begin prioritizing my partner so heavily that I would stop taking care of myself. Look, you won’t be able to be the man or woman they need if you aren’t taking care of yourself. Eat well, get plenty of sleep, go to the gym, prioritize alone time and realize that all of these activities will make you a better partner… Not a selfish partner.” He continues- “Simply put, without self-love, there can be no love for others. You’ll constantly be using others to gain validation and approval instead of giving yourself validation and approval and then inviting others on the journey with you.”
And honestly, I think this lesson needs to be heard by all.
Communication is the key.
Admit it, no matter how well people claim to know each other, people can’t read minds. And that’s the most important reason why you should always communicate whatever you’re feeling. Silence isn’t always golden, is it? Ankit Verma writes,”Only those relationships work where there is equality, maturity and active vocal communication about the problems, from both sides.” Yes indeed. When you are vocal about your needs and problems, you can sit and fix things like how it should actually be done.
Another thing that you should know is, ” People speak different languages of love“- as Kwasi Baako states. Most of the time, the reason that your relationship isn’t working out is because your language of love doesn’t match with that of your partners. When this happens, s/he may not feel loved despite your best efforts. In such case, the first thing you should do is communicate with each other and solve the misunderstanding.
Keep your dignity- Learn to let Go.
When a relationship ends for the first time, it feels so devastating that you try to hold on – especially when the breakup is coming from the other person. Your mind will play a thousand tricks on you, because it loves the feeling of familiarity. When such a situation arise, know that it’s the time when life is testing you. You clinging to a person who deliberately chose to walk away, is only going to give them an ego boost and nothing more. Don’t give in- trust me, you are only extending your heart break.
Kwasi Baako writes- “NEVER EVER GO BACK TO PEOPLE WHO WALK AWAY FROM YOU — it’s a waste of your time , your energy and the highest form of disrespect to you,”
And yes, that is the truth, no matter how bitter it sounds.
You gotta be independent.
Udita Pal talks about three types of independence that everyone should learn- Financial Independence, Emotional Independence and Social Independence. I don’t even have to explain much because she made it so clear herself.
In her own words-
“There are three kinds of independence I’m talking about.
Financial independence: It doesn’t matter who earns more or less; you need to be at a place where your partner or not you can manage your lifestyle. It would be best if you want a partner, not an ATM.
Emotional Independence: A lot of people go through depression immediately after the breakup, which is normal but you need to understand you are more than someone’s partner and relationship or not -you are still going to exist.
Social Independence: You need to have friends outside the relationship and for sure out of the mutual circle, you need people around you to continually remind you that you have someone other than one person looking out for you. And most importantly, never ignore your parents and close ones for your partner.”
Say yes to healthy boundaries.
Andrew Ferebee says,” You need to know what you will and will not tolerate in a relationship and have the guts to actually enforce that.”
Basically, establish healthy boundaries, communicate them and maintain them. You have to know the difference between healthy and unhealthy compromises in a relationship. When you compromise thinking they would change in the future, you are only sowing unresolved conflicts that will show up one day or the other. If you aren’t happy with your partners’ habit in the beginning, chances are you won’t be happy with it five years down the lane.
In the end,
These are only a few among the hundreds of lessons that people shared on Quora. You can definitely check it if you want to read more. But remember, failed relationships never means that you failed your whole life.
Yes I do understand that it may have been a good relationship. But my darlings, good relationships doesn’t necessarily have to be right ones for you !!!
A voice of an introvert
We have asked our page followers on December 10, 2019, to express their heart out anonymously saying things that they wouldn’t feel comfortable saying on persons face or saying by revealing their true identity.
The following is a voice of an introvert struggling with self image. Read and try to understand:
I’m really tired of seeing how people in our society don’t really understand the concept of different personalities. Why are we obliged to act the way society wants us to? Why can’t we be ourselves? I have been an introvert since my childhood and I love being alone rather than being surrounded by people. I have been judged for the way I am by my cousins, my parents and even by my friends since a very long time. I will never forget being bullied in middle school for my weight and how I could not fight back for myself because of my personality. I thought why would I make a fun of myself by fighting back when those people are never going to learn.
I always thought I was different, I still do. I don’t know if it’s only me or others feel the same way too. Many people have told me it’s just a type of excuse. But only I know what it felt at the time and what it feels rn. Because of all that, I’ve turned into such an insecure person. I can’t even upload a full picture of myself online because I’m worried about being judged like I was in the past. I always admire people’s confidence when I see them posting their pictures, videos or even comments online. I’ve turned myself into such an anxious and reserved person, now I don’t even recognize myself. Because of being bullied for how I looked, I have manipulated myself into such an insecure being. I know I’m wrong and I need to move ahead in life without remembering whatever happened in the past but I just can’t do it.
Even today when my friends are talking and someone joke about my body, I take it very seriously inside, even though I laugh it out outside. I try to tell myself “it’s alright even if people don’t understand you,” but it is very difficult.
As I’m writing this, I’m really anxious about being judged by the person who will read this because I don’t know whatever I’ve written even makes any sense or not. I have a lot to say but who would even care about all of these.
So basically this was to my friends and anyone who think it’s okay to judge and make fun of people because they won’t say anything right in front of your face. The scars given by the words can never be erased. I choose to be different and I’m proud to be different but definitely not proud about how I cannot portray my real self in front of others. I always think a lot before I say or do anything because I think people might find it odd and start judging me. I have a long way to go before I start changing all of this and appreciate myself for who I am, not only when I’m alone but in front of everyone.
— FEMALE, 20
If you also want to express your heart out anonymously, CLICK HERE. To get your write-up selected, make sure your content is good.
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